A great lover in a great marriage is a disciplined lover. Discipline may seem to be an odd character trait for a lover, and the opposite of playful, spontaneous, or creative. However, a lack of opportunity and priority sabotages the spontaneity of many married couples. Here are several ways in which you can be disciplined in your love life:
- Make sexual intimacy a priority. – This starts with a positive attitude about sex, and the determination to prevent the “stuff of life” from crowding in on this vital area of married life. Give your best time and energy to this important part of your marriage.
- Plan for sexual activity with your spouse. – You may even have to put in on your calendars! You can then allow for spontaneity in the atmosphere, place, timing, and technique.
- Take care of your body and mind. – Good physical, mental, and emotional health empower your lovemaking.
- Say “yes” more frequently. – Saying “no” can become a habit that prolongs sexual dissatisfaction. So, even when you are tired or you just don’t feel like it, go ahead and take the plunge. Many have reported they were glad they did.
- Structure your life in such a way that you can be rested, rather than tired. – Take a nap in the afternoon or go to bed earlier at night. Maybe you need to reclaim some time on your calendar because you are over-committed.
- Plan uninterrupted times together where you are free from the stress and distractions of family and work. – Couples who have children at home will greatly benefit from such times. Arrange for grandparents or friends to take care of your children, while you have a special overnight at a nearby hotel (or at your empty house).
- Be creative in your love life. – Initiate lovemaking at unexpected times and in unexpected places. Try new positions and techniques. You might even try being the “initiator” if your spouse usually gets things started.
- Read a book together about how to have a healthy sexual relationship.
- Take more time to enjoy the lovemaking. – It doesn’t have to be a race against the clock. For many people, that means going to bed earlier.
- Ask God to bless your love life. – He is very interested in helping you create a life of passion, joy, and satisfaction. Because of your inherent differences, you need God’s grace to create a fulfilling intimate relationship.
Let’s talk: What would you add to this list? Please leave a comment below.
*The above marriage tip is an excerpt from Tools for a Great Marriage by Willie Batson.